Post by jgold on Sept 6, 2008 2:03:51 GMT -5
Watching Brad play "The Room" made me realize what an amazing idea this would be.
Daphne: "Freddie! Watch out! There's a little girl in the road!"
Freddie: "Whoa! Watch out, gang! We're gonna crash!"
[Filthy VW bus breaks down uneventfully.]
Freddie: "Gee, where'd that girl go?"
Velma: "And for that matter, where's everyone else in this kooky town?"
Daphne: "'Silent Hill.' That must be where we are!"
Shaggy: "You know for a silent hill, that's one noisy siren!"
Scooby: "Reah! Roisy!"
Freddie: "Well, gang, looks like we've got a mystery to solve."
Shaggy: "Yeah! What the heck is happening to the floor???"
[Nightmare realm envelopes the curious teenagers.]
Shaggy: "Well, thank goodness the fridge is still here. C'mon, Scoob! The hill may be silent, but, like, my stomach isn't!"
Scooby: "Reeheeheehee!"
[Shaggy opens the refrigerator revealing a creature of unspeakable horror. A baby with feet for eyes and an enormous ribcage protruding goat legs. It quacks with canned sound effects and bad camera angles.]
Shaggy: "....nope.... nothing here...."
Scooby: "Roh reet Resus."
Freddie: "I think we should split up. Velma, you take the old, abandoned hospital. Shaggy and Scooby, you take the old, abandoned elementary school. And Daphne and I will take the old, abandoned church where all the town's children hid during the fire thirty years ago and their screams could be heard for days as they slowly burned alive."
Shaggy: "Like, zoiks! That pyramid head guy sure is freaky! He's got a super big knife, and he's raping Velma!"
Velma: "Jinkies! So this is physical love!"
Freddie: "Hmm, well he's either Old Man Jenkins... or a physical manifestation of my repressed guilt for forsaking my estranged wife."
Daphne: "Ugh, I can't run in these heels anymore!"
Shaggy: "Well, like, they can!!!"
[Demonic nurses chase the group as a groovy song plays through a broken phonograph somewhere]
Velma: "There seems to be something glinting at the bottom of this hole that's randomly appeared."
Freddie: "Hmm... It could be a medallion or a crest or something. Shaggy, how about you reach in and fish it out?"
Shaggy: "How about f*ck you, Freddie."
Velma: "Would you do it for a Scooby Snack?"
Scooby: "Rell ro."
Shaggy: "Yeah, I ain't gettin' high right now! This whole place is made outta brown acid!"
[Chains and blood explode from the walls as a character, who you probably should know who they are but you don't, transforms into a gigantic God from Hell.]
Freddie: "Mystery solved! It was you the whole time! ... Not that it really matters, seeing as we're all dead."
Velma: "What was the point of all this if the thing was just going to kill us the whole time?"
Freddie: "It doesn't need a point, Velma, or a satisfying ending. That way it can have lots of sequels."
Shaggy: "Oh boy, like, what'll we do???"
Daphne: "I've got a rusty pipe and a half-loaded shotgun I found!"
[The monster dies an embarrassing death at the hands of four hippies and a dog they feed pot to.]
Freddie: "Well, so ends the nightmare of Silent Hill."
Scooby: "Rerhaps, Reddie. Rut rhe rarkness rof ris rown ras rinfected rour rearts, rand rill rinevitably ronsume rour rouls....... ROOBY ROOBY ROOOOOOOOO!"
Daphne: "Freddie! Watch out! There's a little girl in the road!"
Freddie: "Whoa! Watch out, gang! We're gonna crash!"
[Filthy VW bus breaks down uneventfully.]
Freddie: "Gee, where'd that girl go?"
Velma: "And for that matter, where's everyone else in this kooky town?"
Daphne: "'Silent Hill.' That must be where we are!"
Shaggy: "You know for a silent hill, that's one noisy siren!"
Scooby: "Reah! Roisy!"
Freddie: "Well, gang, looks like we've got a mystery to solve."
Shaggy: "Yeah! What the heck is happening to the floor???"
[Nightmare realm envelopes the curious teenagers.]
Shaggy: "Well, thank goodness the fridge is still here. C'mon, Scoob! The hill may be silent, but, like, my stomach isn't!"
Scooby: "Reeheeheehee!"
[Shaggy opens the refrigerator revealing a creature of unspeakable horror. A baby with feet for eyes and an enormous ribcage protruding goat legs. It quacks with canned sound effects and bad camera angles.]
Shaggy: "....nope.... nothing here...."
Scooby: "Roh reet Resus."
Freddie: "I think we should split up. Velma, you take the old, abandoned hospital. Shaggy and Scooby, you take the old, abandoned elementary school. And Daphne and I will take the old, abandoned church where all the town's children hid during the fire thirty years ago and their screams could be heard for days as they slowly burned alive."
Shaggy: "Like, zoiks! That pyramid head guy sure is freaky! He's got a super big knife, and he's raping Velma!"
Velma: "Jinkies! So this is physical love!"
Freddie: "Hmm, well he's either Old Man Jenkins... or a physical manifestation of my repressed guilt for forsaking my estranged wife."
Daphne: "Ugh, I can't run in these heels anymore!"
Shaggy: "Well, like, they can!!!"
[Demonic nurses chase the group as a groovy song plays through a broken phonograph somewhere]
Velma: "There seems to be something glinting at the bottom of this hole that's randomly appeared."
Freddie: "Hmm... It could be a medallion or a crest or something. Shaggy, how about you reach in and fish it out?"
Shaggy: "How about f*ck you, Freddie."
Velma: "Would you do it for a Scooby Snack?"
Scooby: "Rell ro."
Shaggy: "Yeah, I ain't gettin' high right now! This whole place is made outta brown acid!"
[Chains and blood explode from the walls as a character, who you probably should know who they are but you don't, transforms into a gigantic God from Hell.]
Freddie: "Mystery solved! It was you the whole time! ... Not that it really matters, seeing as we're all dead."
Velma: "What was the point of all this if the thing was just going to kill us the whole time?"
Freddie: "It doesn't need a point, Velma, or a satisfying ending. That way it can have lots of sequels."
Shaggy: "Oh boy, like, what'll we do???"
Daphne: "I've got a rusty pipe and a half-loaded shotgun I found!"
[The monster dies an embarrassing death at the hands of four hippies and a dog they feed pot to.]
Freddie: "Well, so ends the nightmare of Silent Hill."
Scooby: "Rerhaps, Reddie. Rut rhe rarkness rof ris rown ras rinfected rour rearts, rand rill rinevitably ronsume rour rouls....... ROOBY ROOBY ROOOOOOOOO!"
